Offside Rule Explained For Women

[combomax]

following on from my thread about 10 commandments for women during the football season...

Sorry this is a private forum and the links are hidden.
For quality fakes go to Jack's below.

Now comes Explaning The Offside Rule For Women......


The Offside Rule Explained for the Ladies
Picture this: youre in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till.

Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes. Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to push in front of the other shopper.

The Laws of Football
At one point during a football (soccer) match in America, the coach said to one of his young players, Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is? The little boy nodded in the affirmative. Do you understand that what matters is how we play together as a team? The little boy nodded yes.

So, the coach continued, When offside is given, or a foul is not seen, you dont argue or swear or attack the referee. Do you understand all that? Again the little boy nodded.

Good said the coach, Now go over there and explain it to your mother.